Deeply Philosophical: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

A couple weeks ago I began a cookie making frenzy. Normally I would try to examine why exactly I started this because my usual "thing" is to sit up in my room and watch movie and TV shows on my laptop, but I decided to bypass that stage this time around. Reform was going to occur sometime, whether it was sooner or later, so I figured that I wouldn't put myself through such a task.
I was making chocolate chip cookies and while I was waiting for a batch to bake I scooped my spoon of dough and proceeded to stare blankly out the window. My music was playing in the background and I don't know why but I had a sudden feeling of complete open mindedness. It was almost as if the cookie dough unlocked a cage and my mind was set free. And as I was peering outside I saw one of my cats. Now I know you might not follow this or even think "that's so dumb. it's so simple and obvious. why is she even making this a big deal?" Well, I'll tell you why. Because I was feeling smart and observant so you can just shove it and come back to read when you get some respect for me and for yourself. Stop thinking your so high above me. Anyways, back to the cat. Just for the sake of storytelling I'll divulge the information that her name is Bumblebee. The window that I was standing out just happens to look out over past our driveway and out into a hay field, but during winter it's barren and a opportune place to hunt for mice. It's not like I haven't seen my cats hunting before, but something made me stop and stare. It had recently snowed and patches of white were spread across the ground. Anyone that knows anything about cats knows that they don't like to get their feet wet or cold, and I'm pretty sure if I didn't have shoes I would feel the same. Bumblebee was heading in a general direction but the thing that I noticed was that even though she was heading out to a place I'm assuming was straight in front of her, she kept weaving to the side to avoid wet patches and just kept heading back towards the same place. And I know this may be a little bit of a stretch for you to catch (mostly because my mind was going a million miles per hour and I can't remember how I connected one thing to another) but I suddenly brought up the idea of how we, as a human race, always aim directly towards what we want. If we want to get somewhere you can bet that we will do everything in our power to make that path towards our destination a straight unwavering line if we can. One example I tried to apply it to for understanding purposes was that if there was a goal to get to the other side of a mountain, the first thought that appears in our heads is to either go right over it or blow a hole through the middle and go that way. But watching Bumblebee make her way towards her destination towards the middle of the field brought about an understanding that even though going straight for it may bring us many advantages like quick progress and perseverance, what it doesn't bring us is patience. So I touched on many other things after this and will most likely bring them up sometime later, but I'm asking you as a reader to consider this. And because I'm a well-rounded IB student I will apply this to another thing in my life. Just as I was writing the previous words above this, I thought back to my new class I'm taking this semester called Theory of Knowledge. The reason this reminded me of it is because today, our second day of class, we discussed what knowledge is and how we think. It was some overall mind blowing stuff, but the basic thing I would like to point out was that we were asked to draw a picture of how we think and I would like to share mine with you. You might want to try this sometime because it's actually extremely... helpful in understanding yourself. Without further ado, here it is below. I wish you a wonderful day and hope I gave you much to think on. Until next time...

Loss of Control

So today I figured I would tell you about a very life scarring experience that I have recently endured. It might not be as extreme as some or you think but for me it was about as bad as it could get. As I previously stated in my last post, I have been skiing a lot with my friend. One of the things I mentioned was the breath taking view and the challenge of my skills. Well, I'm here to inform you that I will not be challenging myself for a while now.
Last weekend on Saturday I partook in another wild adventure on the mountain. It was an alright day despite the conditions of fog and damp snow which combined with the frigid air and made for less than favorable visual ability to see obstacles. Now, not only was there this impairment but along with that I had just recently acquired a helmet and was feeling somewhat competitive and reckless. Normally that would lead to me occasionally going off the slight bump in the trail and catching a few inches of "air". But since I was in a rather extreme mood set I decided "why not? Let's go down the steepest of hills and then sprinkle some huge ass pine trees across the slope and proceed to shred through the only powder I can find." Let me just clue you in now. The mountain I went to hadn't had snow for more than two weeks so the only powder was in the hardest parts to slip through trees and then plummet into the iced over grade below. So yes. I did just so and when I discovered fresh powder you bet I went through all that to make my own tracks. Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid idiot. All  would've went well but I met an acquaintance. Or rather an enemy. Or a frienemy. Yes a friendly enemy. Or so I thought. There was this stump. A little cut off tree sticking five inches out of the snow.  But I wasn't gonna let that stop me. Oh no. I WAS going to go threw that powder. So I skied down into the chute and I got to the stump. I tried to avoid it but this space was quite restricted. So I used all my force and pulled my first ski up and over it. But when it came to the second one I was already sliding down the hill a bit and couldn't manage to get it over. It was stuck. To my ski. Oh dear. So I put more effort into it and when I finally pulled it over I admit that I did let out  a little triumphant shriek. Don't you dare laugh. It was a pretty impressive accomplishment. Anyways, just as I was setting it back down I felt myself start to fall towards the snow. But no. Not towards the uphill. Oh no. I was heading down hill with my feet behind me. Now the story gets a little jumbled here but you can't blame me. Normally this would've resulted in a slight roll and I would eventually stop with snow up my coat and my face shoved into the white ground. But like I said earlier I was feeling confident. So we were on one of the steepest inclines on the mountain. In attempt to break my fall I let go of one pole but the ground was too far below me and before I knew  it I was head over heals, rolling down the hill. Keep in mind that I also told you that there were a ridiculous amount of trees too. So I roll down about 30 meters and finally, a mist all the turning and frantic clawing at the snow i luckily crash into a group of trees. So right now I'm braced between two groups of trees. My head is being held by a small Christmas looking baby tree and one of my skis is lodged into a well of a bigger, thicker one. 

And my body is spread the length of a huge icy chute. I just manage to get out , "get my pole! I dropped it up there" while I'm stunned and my friend is just chuckling at my enormous stupidity. But little did she know that this rodeo wasn't over. Oh no I still had more than half my ride left. So imagine my instant terror when I suddenly here a slight click. And the next thing I knew I was continuing my seemingly never ending tumble down that fricken mountain. As I later found out, my ski had been disconnected from my boot and it turns out that it was the only thing holding me from continuing my traumatizing trip down the mountain. As I was saying, I had once again gone head over heels but this time I was completely out of control. Basically it was like I was a ball rolling down a hill. I occasionally bounced and landed down with a thud but I was also like a cat falling through mid air after being thrown. Limbs were darting out everywhere in attempt to slow myself down before I hit a huge tree and most likely paralyzed myself for life. Or at least broke a couple bones. Somewhere along the way I managed to let go of my pole and dislocate my other ski. Finally I tumbled out of the chute and did some sort of karate roll onto my stomach where I proceeded to spread eagle and jam my arms and legs into the snow and skid to a stop. Literally two feet from a towering patch of burly pines with trunks the size of a huge pickup snow tire. Needless to say, I will not be returning to that run for a good while and after I had trekked back up the 100 meters I tumbled, with my friend who was frightened to death of what had just happened but had the sensibility to not baby me and make me ball. Whenever something like this happens I find that a good joke or two out of the situation always makes me feel better. I guess that's just because of my older sister that always made the scariest things seem ridiculous in order to comfort. But anyways, we retrieved my gear and were heading back down when my friend lost her grip in the snow and it was my own reversed position show to my terrifying experience. She must have tumbled 20 meters before she was out of my sight and managed to stop herself. I don't know if it was worse to be the one seeing white or watching and not being able to help. Just sitting and screaming my lungs out not being able to do anything and just hope she could find some way to slow down. Coming away from that was me needing quite a bit of music therapy and my friend being light hearted, even after her own terrifying fall. But. Now I will be more careful. Only took a near death experience... I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Ever. Well, I hope you learned something from this and be careful when participating in dangerous activities.

Breathtaking

Last Saturday I went skiing at a nearby resort with a friend on mine. Since I bought myself new boots I've been trying to get to the mountain more to get the fresh air and exercise as well as practicing my socializing skills and I'd have to say that it is doing wonders for me.
The first thing I'd like to talk about is the skiing itself. Of course I'm no expert but I also like to think of myself as a little better than intermediate. I ski down the black diamond runs and only fall an average of two times on each. I consider that pretty amazing, but while its cool to do that because it challenges my skills, it's also enjoyable because not many people go on those. Most stick to the medium and easy runs. Sometimes after I fall it's nice to just lie down and look at the scenery around me. Of course I have my buddy further down the slope yelling up to see if I'm okay, or we occasionally just have a little laugh about my clumsy habits. But the fact is that I genuinely enjoy just going up there for poofy white powder that sprays out from under my plummeting body as it makes its destined route towards the ground.
Secondly are the views. I'll show you what I mean at the end with a picture I took on my last visit to the mountain, but its just beautiful up there. Breathtaking would be the perfect way to describe it. It's especially stunning when the sky is completely clear. I can see over the valley below until the opposing mountains on the other side. It's not really something that can be captured by words, but instead by photography. Miles upon miles of tree covered landscapes looming over the busy towns below with a lake pooling across the basin of the valley. It's astonishing what one can see from that point of view.

And lastly, I guess the company of a friend is one of the best parts about it. I don't like going with big groups because its always too hard to figure out what run you want to go on and people ski at different speeds but with just one or two friends its a lot of fun. Lately I've just been going with my best friend and she snowboards, but it's been so much fun to just visit with her. The car ride there and on the lifts, occasionally when one of us wipes out and just wants to sit in the snow a while. I guess it can be said that the progress report with my social skills resolution is good. It's making life feel more... full in a way. And it's much better than just staying at home all day and watching movies in my room by myself. Anyways, I just wish to encourage you to get out and do stuff, because before you know it four years will have flown by without notice and you might regret not doing things with family and friends while you had the time.

Mindlessness

This afternoon I was running on the treadmill and found myself "dozing off" so to say, into alternate mindsets. The reason for that may be attributed to my being sick and trying not to cough my guts out during the midst of my run but also because I tended to actually listen to music while doing so. I don't know if this ever happens to anyone else but sometimes I just get a wave of numbness over my mind and proceed to cease all thoughts related to anything else than moving my lips along to the lyrics and processing all possible meanings behind them. I guess I've never really consciously done this before and just wanted to inform you about it because it was extremely calming. All I can really say about it was that before I knew it, forty minutes had passed by and I didn't even realize that my legs had been moving. I just blankly stared out the window across the field that it looks to and digested the music. I don't even know how to describe it, but it was strangely peaceful and hope that with some hobby of yours you too can achieve this state of complete contentedness.

Locked Out

I would like to tell you guys the story of me being locked out. Now I know that most of you almost immediately assume that this is about me being locked out of my house, car, or some other important structure that holds much value to me. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint but this is actually referring to my incompetence with my voice mail system on my phone. Yes I do know that it's not that hard to remember the password for my voice mail account but let me defend myself here. I don't use my phone that often. Other than the occasional text from a family member it's radio silence that radiates from the little blue device in my jean pocket. Although I quite enjoy not being constantly summoned with a vibration to signal that I got a call or text, sometimes it's comforting to know that someone does want to talk to me. Even if it's just through a little square bright screen with typed words and emoticons only showing the faintest of emotions. It's nothing like actual face to face conversation, but who are we kidding? Does anyone really communicate that way anymore? Getting back to the point, I rarely put my phone to good use and I guess that's why it's lasted for four years and it's still going strong. Or at least I believe it is. Anyways, I almost never get texts and the frequency for calls to me is even less. Every four months or so I get a voice mail, but to my great disappointment I can't listen to it. You wanna know why? I have never been able to open it. I've had it reset more than half a dozen times but until today I have not been able to remember that password for the life of me. I don't know if anybody else besides me does this but I just thought you would like to be informed of my triumph over this infuriating piece of technology. And I can proudly say that I have finally listened to my few, but still existent voice mails.
And now since you have the background I will continue to tell you about one of said voice mails from my older sister. It was last year during track season in May and I was at the state divisionals representing the long distance team of my school when my older sister showed up to support me. And on her way home she started to text me about it and said that she called and left me a very exciting voice mail and that I should really listen to it. Well, like you know from what I have previously pointed out I did not know my password and couldn't listen to it and was about to delete it because the little icon at the bottom of the screen showing you that you have an unread message when she told me that I have to keep it because it was the best message she has ever left anyone. And now I can definitely say that she was right and it was a good idea to keep it this long. It may have taken 8 months, but I listened to it and I can agree. And I just wanted to point out that some people really should try to limit their caffeine intake... With that I say goodbye until next post. Have a wonderful day!

The Joy of Running on a Treadmill

So, since there is snow on the ground outside that mostly gives way to ice underneath it I've been forced to get into shape by running on a treadmill. I've done a total of four runs and plan to run every weekday every week until my track season starts sometime in March and I hope that I don't have to run all of those on the treadmill. Basically, for the first 15 minutes I'm perfectly content listening to the music and thinking about the things while I blankly stare out the window to nothing from my garage. The feeling of working out at that point actually is somewhat enjoyable and I realize why I do this and why I like it when I finish and think back to it, but anytime after that first 15 minutes is filled with complaining and annoyance and trying to keep myself from looking at the timer to see how much more time I have to run on that stupid contraption. I'm not saying that everybody feels like this when running on a treadmill but I just thought I'd vent here and tell you how stupid I think they are. Each time I run on it my passion for hating it grows along with my love for running in town on the clear streets in the summer does. I guess it's healthy for when the time comes that I can run outside without fear that I will slip on ice and break a something or get a concussion but until then I'm going to continue hating that thing and will enjoy the day when I no longer have to run on it.

Physical Exertion is Exhausting

Tonight, I proceeded to commit to my plan and start working out and prepare for my upcoming track season. I don't know what in the world I was thinking! For the first part, it was enjoyable to be running again. I was jamming out to the music on the treadmill and suddenly, halfway through, my legs felt like they had been sunk into water and I couldn't move them without tremendous effort and then shortly following that, a brick had been set on my chest. I couldn't breath and I felt pathetic. Needless to say, I really don't like myself for convincing me that it was alright to take off about three months before starting to run again. This first run felt horrible, but I guess it can only get better with time, right? I don't care what you think, because that's what I am sticking with. If I'm not positive now I'll never continue running every day until track season. This is gonna be a long trek uphill with a rope pulling me down, but I will make it up that darn hill even if it kills my body and brings me to complete exhaustion. I will make it! So with this I ask, what are you hoping to accomplish in the beginning of this new year, and the more important question... are you willing to go after that goal even if you get pushed down, set back, and given challenges? I sure hope so, because if you are willing to start working towards something that means it was worth enough for you to continue until the end and you achieve that goal. Good luck! I know I'm certainly gonna need some.

Back to Reality

Monday is the day I go back to school and to be completely honest, I really don't want to go back. Of course like any other person I really like being on break and doing whatever I want all day long, but everyone has to return to the real world at some point and it will probably end up being a test to see if I can really stick to my New Year's Resolution I promised myself. I don't really have much to report and I hope all you enjoy the last of your vacation and make the most of whats left of it. Hopefully the holiday season went well for you and good luck with the return to reality.